All these unsaid words

Far away. Far away from home.
No sadness. Not even a little bit.
It feels good to be in such a strange place.
In a big city. Where nobody knows me.
Anonymity.
I leave my apartment before sunrise.
And only get back after the sun has set.
Winter. A depressive season.
But I feel as usual.
It will be christmas soon.
I sometimes miss the snow. And my family.
Be tough. Never complain.
I like to be alone. All by myself.
There's no explanation.
From time to time I meet people just like me.
People that appreciate the silence. People that don't speak too often.
We're keeping to ourselves.
Love. Are there words to describe this feeling? Not really.
I love quietly; but often. Actually, all the time.
It's hard for me to express my love though.

And so I turn away again.
Stay on my own and hope that one day I will find the courage to confess.
And that it is not too late by then.

Dedicated to everybody out there who has ever truly loved someone. There are only few; but you are the world's last hope.

(Berlin, december 2009)